I was teaching Qisya how a caterpillar transitioned into a butterfly which then I realised – oh wow such a beautiful process. Ultimately what a caterpillar had to undergo was somewhat natural and by means, it knows what’s going to happen to it. Or does it? I often wonder how a living thing jump from one process to the other so effortlessly. Does transitioning consume time, energy, and emotion? I bet the caterpillar felt all those too. It just hides behind all the leaves munching and sleeping in the hard cocoon. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I too realised that I am going through metamorphosis on my own. After I came back from the UK, I had decisions to make – independently. Of course there is ayah ibu asyraf and other friends help in putting some sense in my head but there are things that I feel helpless & hopeless. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Adulthood<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Unlike the caterpillar, we human are clueless creatures. At the very least – this particular human being called Zethy. I thought adulthood was like a process – instead it hit me like a boogieman. Straight up terrifying and left me peed in my own pants. It was until I realised during my conversation with Mawaddah that as someone who had it easy in her entire life – (grades, uni admission, friends) facing these problems may seem a bit too complex for me. It is never an easy journey. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Again, it’s all about tawakkal, my definition of ‘Let Go and Let God’<\/p>\n\n\n\n Relationship<\/strong>(s)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Four years with Asyraf. Man.. that is a really long time given that Asyraf had it wayy earlier than I do because he liked me three years prior. We have been the bestfriend – farted, laugh, giggled, cried, gave that hangry look, gave that kenyang look, or even in mere silence or some stupid-made-up lullaby, together. Regardless it is through online or physical meet ups, but I can swear to God that 95% of our time together as a couple has been virtually. Am I dating Omegle? ahaha. This phase of our partnership has been the hardest because it involves a lot give and take. I realised that this may not be the last of an episode of quarelling about ‘selfishness’ and ‘dreams’ and ‘what I want’ or ‘what you want’ or anything in between. I realised being a partner is so much more than just sharing. It’s about allowing yourself to sacrifice, allowing yourself to be an entity with someone else, allowing that sometime your plans may not be the best for the sake of someone else’s happiness. It’s difficult to comprehend for an independent girl like me, nor for Asyraf who is strong-willed and goal-minded. Zethy, if you’re reading this in the future, remember the sacrifices and make it worth it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I also had a blast spending time with ibu ayah. Of course that most of the time I had to be in the middle of their arguments, but it’s okay. It’s nice that I could be there for them and they being there for me. And the best part is I save moneyyyyy ahaha. I’ve been away for the longest time from them and it really is a silver lining of this hideous coronavirus. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Rahmah is getting engaged today *super exciting* . Me and Lubna just sibuking at the back ehehe. Oh and Lubna has started working! I am super proud of her! I have a FULLY EMPLOYED BESTFRIEND WHOM I CAN PAU! ahahaha. Looking back, it’s amazing how we’ve been through so many (mistakes?) in life yet still stick together through out the years. I personally love how unique our friendship has been, oh may Allah bless our bond forever. *mata masuk habuk jap*<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dreams, career, and aspiration. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I am definitely recommending a petition to take down LinkedIn. It is freaking stressful to see so many successful people in this world and you’re just a mere potato. Like come on, LinkedIn is like the Instagram of business-minded people with high-achieving goals and aim to mentor people yada yada. I do somehow feel a strong desire to fit in but then, what do I exactly want to achieve in life? I’m a super restless human being, I want to do everything, learn anything, and give up nothing. It is simply very hard to answer the question of “How do you see yourself in 5 years?”. I can’t. I completely cannot see myself wearing just a hat. I see myself doing various things, things that I love. Which until now I do not know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had a thought on becoming a content creator. Eight years ago, this term did not exist. It’s basically posting something on your social media to engage with your followers. Basically it’s writing – on my blog – with my goofy jokes lol. But I realised I didn’t have anything to promote. Like what kind of services am I selling? What is the core of my content? It is basically me rambling through life. Should I sell life? Ok Zethy, stop rambling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I am almost finishing up my masters, I have a few more thousand words to write, and a few more breakdowns to go through. I mean, the term ‘pain sweat and tears’ must come from a sleep-deprived student like me. I am at a ‘persimpangan’ – I should’ve googled what persimpangan mean in English but I can’t be bothered. I really don’t know where life will take me. I hope it’s a five star hotel with no disruption because i’m super tired of doing something that i have no idea of. Lol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let’s see how my update is in a few months time. Till then. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Zethy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was teaching Qisya how a caterpillar transitioned into a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1795,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[12],"class_list":["post-2945","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-thoughts","tag-adulting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2945","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2945"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2945\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3065,"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2945\/revisions\/3065"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1795"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2945"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2945"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zethysuhaidah.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2945"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}