Assalamualaikum and I hope everyone has a very blissful week.
Procrastinating from finishing my essay, I watched a short video on Facebook about ‘Grandparents Trying Millenials Slang’ and keeping it 100 are one of the slangs that they tried. Keeping it 100 (100 normally is used as the 100 and the double line beneath emoji) is a way of the younger generation saying ‘real’.
I’m keeping myself 100, by acknowledging my feelings and emotion. It has been nothing but a roller coaster ride. Every day it’s always a long list of readings and trying to sculpture my word to make sense to others when in fact in the seminars, there are always others who expressed it eloquently. I can’t help but feel sad although sad is an understatement. Sometimes I feel like a failure and I shouldn’t be feeling like that because this is the path that I chose, with no undue influence. As an adult, I questioned myself in every take I took when it was not the case when I was a teenager. I was brave, up to any challenge I faced. I kept on reflecting on myself, was I too comfortable throughout my three years in Essex?
I have 4 essays to submit in these two weeks and I have not even finished one yet (hopefully by today) ((please if you’re reading this please pray pray pray for me)). I also went back to Essex to meet my cutie pies and brother and sister bear (Kak Amy, Abang Azhar and the kids). It was almost 4 days of happiness until I arrived in Bristol when readings and seminars were waiting excitedly for me.
Teenage life is full of adrenaline pump, for most young adults I presumed. Impulses and unwise decisions are always on top of their list and when you look back when you’re an adult, those rebellious years were a lesson learnt and good memories. Probably seven years down the road, you’d laugh about it. Parents play an important role, the child’s happiness is what’s best for them because happiness was the first thing the little one gave you when s/he was born. You might have a dozen kids but that particular child has only one mom and one dad.
Oh Allah. Please guide us as we fear of going ashtray.