As I am writing this, it has been 45 minutes since my online Evidence lecture has started but living in a new housing area, the unifi has yet to be installed and my mobile data is incapable to sustain this 2 hours of lecture. Hence, I’m here.
May peace be upon every one.
I once came across a tweet saying ’24 is a strange age. You see your friends working, studying, getting married, successfully leading a business, getting promoted, having children, and then there’s you – clueless about everything in life. Definitely me. The last bit. Today’s social media is crowded with success, or to be honest, the good thing that they wanted to share with other people. The worst thing would be you scrolling the feed and feeling bad for yourself. It has been your daily routine, and that misery is slowly eating you. I’m currently one foot in the legal profession world. I am still very inexperience, especially in terms of hard skilled skills i.e writing affidavits or statement of claim. If you’re asking me now, I absolutely do not have any single clue about it.
So there are three questions I’m asking myself today :
1) if you could turn back time, what would you do?
2) Is the current state doable?
3) Will the future be bright?
- Hopping into a time machine
I would definitely go back to the time where I had to decide to choose my JPA scholarship or to attend UiTM Law School. Probably with everything I’m experiencing right now, I might have chose the former. I realised that Malaysian law students have much exposure on the legal system in Malaysia. They learnt almost everything to equip themselves to be lawyers. They have mooting in their syllabus and learned how to write drafts of agreements in their third years. They have well connections to have their internship in the Public Prosecutor’s Office or even the Court. In short, they are more employable and in this current situation, isn’t that what we all strive for?
Despite, I’ve never regretted my decision to go to the UK. It’s amazing to learn law, in depth. To learn from academicians who argue about the law and not just applying it. To see how other people from different social groups are affected by the law. To see the bigger picture on how law affects the economy and the society, how law impacts culture especially in the area of human rights. It’s amazing to hear about how so many laws are changing because of Brexit, and to dwell into the law commission’s papers and see how detailed they are in improving the law. To observe why the change from the tories to the labour and back to the tories have affected the austerity of the great nation, and many laws are yet to be amended. It was definitely an out-of-this world experience listening to seminars, arguing in tutorials, giving opinions, and being passionate about the law. I remember one time Penny brought in a few people from a Domestic Violence Charity Group and they talked about how men could be suffering from abuse by their partners. I was in awe and shocked to know that a biologically strong creature could also be vulnerable. My four years of studying law in the UK was full of whys and hows, thus I wouldn’t trade that for anything in this world.
- Presently, clueless.
I am almost a month into my CLP course, and it’s nothing but volumes of statutes and cases. With the previous batch’s examinations postponed, I keep on wondering, do I see myself as a Lawyer? Personally, I still shrug whenever the thought of being a lawyer comes into my head. Picturing myself as a lawyer is presumably an ideal imagination – but not as rewarding. Most senior people in the field that I’ve met said, the reward is monetary, and that is sufficient. Nevertheless, I know money wouldn\’t be the ultimate thing I want in life.
When I had an interview with Teman Malaysia the other day, I was asked about what do I see myself doing in 5 years. I answered – i’m still searching what I want to do in the next five years. I’m still ever so passionate about health inequalities and mental health law, and I know opportunity will only be given to me on this area when I’m 2-3 years in the legal field because that is normally when associates choose their specialisation. I hope when I am informed enough to make decisions, I’ll be in the areas of my interest. Oh Allah, please guide me throughout my ever clueless life. Because you are the Mighty Guidance and you are the Best Planner.
- Let there be light.
I’ll be starting a job next week as a legal clerk in a law firm in Kajang. Even though my lecturers in ATC advised us to do litigation work as CLP is all about procedures, I believe there’s a lot for me to learn despite the firm is a conveyancing firm. I also look forward to indulge myself with activities that I love – volunteering. Because whenever else fails, the best thing to do is to give back, give back, and give back.
Until then,
Zethy.